9th of Av Fast

So far this fast is going very well for me.  I am very happy that I spent the past few days preparing myself physically and emotionally.  I have eaten a very limited amount of solid foods, focusing mostly on smoothies and juices.  Today, although I am having a bit of a foggy brain, I am not obsessively focusing on food.  In fact, despite my original intention to do this as a water fast, I've ended up just doing it as a dry fast, because I just haven't felt like I need the water for these 25 hours.

I had another thought today that makes me feel like my evaluation vis a vis fasting not being about just mortifying our souls.  As the day progresses, our mourning is supposed to DECREASE.  For example, we don't put on tefillin in the morning, but we do in the evening.  Yet, if the emphasis on the fast was on being hungry, well, that would be counter the goal.  We'd be getting hungrier and hungrier.  

Fasting for clarity is really making a meaningful impact on me though.  I am glad with this orientation.  For the first time, I don't hate this fast or feel the need to binge on cherry garcia icecream the moment I get home by myself (yes, I did that once)

As a side note, I have had several bm's today.  All very easy and good.  I really feel that my body is dumping out a lot over the past few days.  DF even noticed it when he saw me yesterday, he said that my face looked thinner.  I suspected that I was noticing the same when I looked at myself in the mirror lately.